Every time I attended the temple I had wonderful experiences. I never walked away without learning something new. I formed a question in my mind and I would learn the answer then or later through scripture study. I loved attending the temple.
But last year I experienced a test and did not pass it. I had some unexpected expenses that I choose to pay and not keep up with my tithing to God. I missed some months and convinced myself that I would make it up before year end but I just kept getting behind.
Needless to say, at tithing settlement I could not pay the difference which made me less than a 100% tithe payer. As I confessed this to the Bishop he asked me not to attend the temple for awhile, my heart was sad.
My temple recommend was due to expire in February so we set the goal to be 100 % for 3 months. After that I would meet with the Bishop again. I was successful with getting back on track; however, he told me that the Stake President would probably want me to be back on track after 4 -5 months so I have to wait until April before I can renew my recommend and attend the temple again.
My heart aches to return because I have so much work to do for my ancestry as well as my thirst for more knowledge. I will never make that mistake again. I love the temple and the feeling of the Spirit while I am there. I know that wonderful things happen in there.
I also know that the work for my ancestry depends on me and if I do not live my life worthy then I can not help them. Who else do they have? There may be others out there doing the work but it is my responsibility to do this for my family; I can't let then down. So...from this day forward I will live my life so that I may be able to enter the temple knowing my life and the life of my loved ones, who have left this earth already, will truly be blessed as I do so.
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